Whack!
by Ilyana Takatori
Summary: The Gundam boys get some unexpected visitors one day...


I don't own Gundam Wing, although I do own many pictures of all the pretty people!  
  
Ah, it was a peaceful day in the Gundam universe. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Duo was sleeping. . .  
  
And then somebody was screaming.  
  
Quatre, upon hearing this most blood-curdling scream, threw away his book in haste to get up the stairs to find the source of such a hideous call.  
  
" What the hell is going on?!" The blond boy screamed, drawing his spare gun while kicking down the door.  
  
What he saw wasn't what he expected.   
  
Heero Yuy.   
  
Heero Yuy in a bath towel.   
  
Heero Yuy in a bath towel cradling a gift box of Herbal Essence shampoos.   
  
Oh, the madness.  
  
" Oh...huh...sorry, Heero, didn't mean to interrupt. I, just, huh..."  
  
" Quatre, the scream came from down the hall. Go away."  
  
" Right, right...Going, going."  
  
Once Quatre had fit the door back on and had gone downstairs to ventilate his pure horror by screaming into the contents of a pillow (Which did not wake Duo, of course) he went back to searching for that mysterious scream...which some people were too occupied to really care about.  
  
But, he didn't have to search long, for it came again, still further down the hall. Quatre, gaining the sense to load his gun and knock politely this time, followed it once again.  
  
Thus he came to another room. He knocked.  
  
" Hn?"  
  
" Uh...Trowa? Are you ok? Because I just, uh, heard somebody scream, and I-What?!"  
  
Take note Quatre had already opened the door and noticed Trowa wasn't actually in it. He must have been practicing for a circus act, for hanging from the ceiling fan while it was spinning must have been a new one!  
  
" I didn't scream, Quatre."  
  
" Right...I figured you wouldn't since you are hanging from the bloody ceiling fan!"  
  
" Exactly." Quatre fled. Once regaining his thoughts, he figured he wouldn't even go in to Wufei's room...  
  
Wufei!  
  
Quatre had narrowed it down...painfully. Now Wufei was going to answer for it.  
  
The angel slowly marched down the hall, deliberately taking his time just to see if his temper would in any way cool down by such a slow process.  
  
It didn't.  
  
Shooting off the doorknob, Quatre figured that would be enough to get the screaming, foreign boy into his right mind.  
  
Quite the opposite occurred.  
  
" Oh, gods, Quatre, thank the gods you're here, you have no idea what's going on-Shit, and there it is again!" Wufei had, quite literally, tackled the young Arabian and then had suddenly acted as if his head had been severely dealt with.  
  
" House hold objects, house hold objects! News paper, fly swatter...Ah!" The Chinese boy lamented into Quatre's unsuspecting shoulder.  
  
Quatre blinked. The once rational and tight assed kid was being rather open with his problems all of a sudden. What could be so wrong?  
  
Shaking the slight, tan shoulders, Quatre ventured to ask, " What is going on?"  
  
" They're beating me!"  
  
" Who?!"  
  
" I don't know!"  
  
Quatre realized this was truly getting him nowhere. His first priority was to get off of the floor, and, secondly, to get a rather irrational trained assassin off of his body. Shoving Wufei off, Quatre regained his gun and his ability to think straight, then pulled the Chinese boy down the stairs of their hideout and on to the coach beside Duo, who was still sleeping.  
  
" So, as I asked earlier, are their any descriptions to these...stealth attackers?" Quatre asked soothingly.  
  
Wufei visibly shuddered, cradling himself while pulling his knees up to his chest.  
  
" Two...girls."  
  
Quatre sweat dropped. Wufei was probably just stressed, emotional, and hormone crazed.  
  
" One has short, brown hair, with green eyes. She's got the Wall Street Journal as her weapon of choice. The other has long, dark, brown hair with crystal blue eyes. I've seen them both...Oh, I've seen them."  
  
By then Quatre had ditched the first excuse and had begun to seriously consider his friends mental stability. That was, until he got hit over the head.  
  
That's when the innate Arabian-assassin kicked in. While shooting every upright, inanimate object in the kitchen with perfect aim, Quatre had slipped back to his native dialect. Wufei honestly did not catch much of Quatre's wrath, but by the look on the angel-turned-demon's face, he was thankful. Duo did not stir.  
  
Once the blond had settled down, which was also after much screaming into various pillows, he turned to Wufei with bloodshot eyes.  
  
" Wufei?"  
  
" ...Yes, Quatre?"  
  
" Are they going to hit everyone?"  
  
Realization quickly dawned, but it was too late. An explosion erupted from upstairs, and the two Gundum pilots were flung from the couch, square onto the kitchen floor.  
  
" Where is it?" A very pissed off voice screamed above the sound of flame, falling rubble, and cursing.  
  
Quatre looked up in just enough time to see the disgruntled and armed Wing pilot scrambling down what was left of the staircase, the poor guy still pulling his pants on.  
  
Quatre hastily began, "Heero, let me explain-"  
  
" Yeah, before you kill us all!"  
  
Three pairs of eyes flung to the left, where a pile of singed cushions, metal springs, and pillow feathers were mysteriously rustling. Out of it emerged a pissed off looking Shinigami who had been rudely awakened.  
  
Heero glared at his annoying comrade before turning back to Quatre.  
  
" Explain."  
  
Quatre looked at Wufei, blue eyes begging, " I think Wufei knows best."  
  
The foreign child shuddered once again while rubbing the rocks and debris out of his glossy, black hair.  
  
" There are two of them," He answered slowly.  
  
" Two of what?" Duo called, digging around for what was left of his shirt.  
  
" Girls. Two girls," Wufei replied, " and they've got weapons."  
  
Heero raised an interested eyebrow, " Yeah?"  
  
Quatre rubbed his temples, " Forget it, Heero, they use newspapers and flyswatters."  
  
Heero frowned in utter distaste.  
  
" Hey..." Duo looked around the slightly collapsed state that their hide out was in, "where's Trowa?"  
  
Quatre jumped up, hands over his eyes, " Oh, no, not again!"  
  
And, just at that moment, it did happen again. Straight into the already shell shocked Quatre flew the circus clown we all know and love as; Trowa Barton.  
  
The three remaining pilots waited in angst as no sound yet came from the newly arrived pile of rubble. That is, until more fluent Arabic confirmed that at least one of the pilots was alive. Thus came Quatre, highly angered, flustered, and all other words meant to describe unhappiness. Trowa followed, rubbing his right ear.  
  
Duo snickered, " Don't they look cute."  
  
Everyone glared.  
  
" Hey, hey, I'm not the one we need to kill!" Duo backed away from the four pairs of glaring eyes.  
  
" Duo is surprisingly correct," Wufei determined, " we should be thinking about killing who ever is hitting us over the head."  
  
" Right," Heero agreed, reaching down into one surprisingly long pant pocket. He pulled out a detonator.  
  
" No!" The entire party, excluding the suicidal Heero, shouted.  
  
The pilot of Wing looked rather disappointed as he replaced the detonator.  
  
Then, suddenly, as the Gundum pilots were formulating a plan...  
  
WACK!  
  
The two, invisible girls struck again! This time...On all of them!  
  
A collective groan rose from five, near unconscious boys out of the rubble of the house.  
  
Then, " Well, Larke, this has been fun. But don't you think we're going a little far?"  
  
Answering, " Hell no. This was your idea, after all. I think its...kind of entertaining to watch, Sydney."  
  
Sydney replied, " Yeah, but I didn't plan on Heero burning the place down and Wufei and Quatre to lose their minds...again. Not to mention I really don't think I like Trowa that much anymore."  
  
" Huh, why not?"  
  
" The ceiling fan thing just creeped me out."  
  
" Ah."  
  
" Yeah, let's just get out of here before they realize we're standing right next to the front door and try to kill us."  
  
Silence. "Get 'em! " Wufei cried, lunging towards the green front door of their station. His body collided with something halfway there.  
  
" Eww, get off me!" A voice screeched into his ear. He seriously doubted his ability to hear after that. Struggling, he found two wrists and held them pinned to the ground.  
  
Heero was already where Wufei was, just not having as much luck. After getting kicked in the stomach and...a little lower, he was fighting a losing battle.  
  
Of course, Trowa, being the acrobat that he is, just found a ceiling fan, launched himself, did a graceful fall, straight on top of the enemy.  
  
" ...Ouch," A small voice wheezed.  
  
Quatre lurched over to the two boys and their captive attackers, searching through what looked like air in front of a still struggling Wufei.   
  
Finally finding what he was looking for, he pressed a small button, and thus formed a blue eyed, brown haired girl. The girl looked around, not knowing where such a button came to exist.  
  
" Damn their vivid imaginations," She cursed, flailing the fly swatter despondently.  
  
Trowa got the same device and revealed a green eyed girl with short brown hair.  
  
The two females stared into the eyes of a lot of angry men.  
  
" Uhm..." Larke, or whom they presumed was Larke, began.  
  
" We were just..." Sydney tried to make it sound plausible, but anything by then truly wasn't believable.  
  
Both girls glanced at each other, sighed, and then shrugged.  
  
" We think all of you are hot-" Larke began.  
  
" Except Wufei," Sydney sagely interrupted.  
  
" Of course, but anyway, we decided to come...annoy you?"  
  
The look on the collective face of the Gundum pilots was one of high skepticism.  
  
Then out of the silence:  
  
" You...don't think I'm hot?"  
  
Sydney tried to stop a giggle while Larke had many other things to say.  
  
" No, you idiot," She cried, " I don't, and did you know I also consider you a meanie! Not to mention you've got some serious issues to sort through, so get off of me!"  
  
Sydney smirked, and she could see it on everyone's face, even if the others tried to hide it.  
  
" C'mon, we were just having some fun, right? I mean, Heero, didn't you get the satisfaction of blowing something up today because of us?"Sydney said. Heero nodded, recalling the memory with great pleasure. The rest sighed with exasperation. " And Trowa, didn't you get to try out a new trick on me?" The short haired girl persisted, craning her neck to see her captor. The circus performer delicately pursed his lips to think, then smiled slightly. If that wasn't a 'Yes' in Trowa language, then Sydney didn't know what was," Quatre, you..." the girl bit her lip, " maybe you didn't get anything too great out of this experience."  
  
The Arabian made no comment, too dazed to even comprehend the statement. Sydney wisely decided to sidetrack the homicidal blond.   
  
Instead she turned to Duo.  
  
" Duo," She sighed, " you're just too cool."  
  
Duo frowned, " What's that got to do with anything?"  
  
" I don't know. Just thought I'd suck up to you while I still had the chance."  
  
Larke pouted, " Nope, Sydney, I thought you were going to leave him to me!"  
  
Sydney groaned, rolling her green eyes.  
  
Duo looked highly disturbed.  
  
" Ok," Wufei sighed, once he had regained his pride and confidence," I think we should kill them."  
  
" What?!" The two young women cried in perfect unison.  
  
Heero loaded his gun, " Ready."  
  
Duo, leaning down, into his socks, pulled out a very intimidating switch blade, " Shall I?"  
  
Trowa, in his shift of position, allowed Sydney to feel the very distinct shape of a gun in his hand.  
  
For Larke, the premonition was the same. Except Wufei, who looked much more happy about the whole thing.  
  
But Quatre shook his head, stilling them all.  
  
The girls sighed in relief, thinking they were finally saved.  
  
" I'll do the honors," SandRock's pilot announced.  
  
The girls eyes popped back open, and six pairs of shocked eyes met with one, hard set pair of cerulean blue.  
  
Quietly loading his gun, a genuine look of insanity spread across the once gentle angels features, and it didn't take long to realize Quatre simply wasn't in his right mind...again.  
  
Aiming, he smiled, and shot twice.  
  
Trowa dropped Sydney, and Wufei climbed off of Larke, and all five boys smiled at their handiwork. Duo stepped up beside Quatre, laying a nonchalant hand on the pilots shoulder," What do you think we should do with them when they wake up?" The braided pilot asked.  
  
Trowa picked up the Wall Street Journal, " I say we hit 'em over the head."  
  
And, simultaneously, all five boys burst into laughter.   
  
Well...considering these were five terrorists and they all killed thousands everyday and... Oh hell, they were laughing, ok?! 


End file.
